February 2012: Notes from my Journal

 Wow! Words cant even express the way I feel. I mean... I CAN FEEL! I dont feel numb anymore. I can feel my broken and tore heart, being mended by the hugs, comments, and smiles. I can truly feel the power and love of God when I am around them. Sometimes I sit at the computer editing the photos from that week, and I get emotional ( I CAN FEEL! YES!) because In front of me is a beautiful son or daughter of God. I am taking pictures of Angels.

 It got me thinking about life, and how we treat others. When I am around people with special needs I feel nothing but love from them. It reminds me of when I went to support Ben, at the special Olympics. Everyone was so happy for each other. The guy who came in second was SO happy for the guy who came in first...haha. They dont love you because of the car you have, the house you live in, how much money you make, or even how you look. They love you for you. They love you because you are a human being, and just like them, a child of God. Someone of worth, and divine potential.

This is why it kills me when I hear people making fun of, or treating these people like they are scum. They know they are different. They desperately want to be like the other kids, do what "normal" people do. However, I dont think its them that needs to become like us. It is us that needs to become like them. We need to become kind, loving, and a light to everyone we come into contact with. While we are sin ridden humans, they are angels. I honestly believe that. No, I know it. People with disabilities may not always act like angels, but they are.  I await for that day when I get to the other side, and see these people in their perfect form- flawless. To give them a another hug and thank them for what they have done for me, and the rest of the world. Thank them for putting up with us not knowing how to help, or what to say. Thank them for being so perfect, that they entered this world with a body/mind that society didn't see "normal". It is my passion and goal to make sure that people can see that love in their eyes, smiles, and hands.... Maybe not getting married was one of the best things that could of happened to me. God has prepared me at this time, and given me these talents to make a difference for his children. I needed to be broken, and lowly of heart, so I could fully invest myself. I dont ask God why anymore, I just ask him what I can do at his hand. This project has given me the chance so I could grow. Iv been given the gift. A chance to learn so much from these people, and in return, find who I really am. Find my divine potential... find who God created me to be, who I will become, and how to get there.  And I will. I will.